Wayne Rice

I’ve had the opportunity to mentor some young men over the years, many of whom are now mentoring another generation of young men. Nothing special is needed to be a mentor except some experience, which most of us have. You don’t need to be well known, have a special education or even a required number of birthdays. Just some life experience that you can share with people who don’t have quite as much.

In case you’re wondering, the image at the right is of young Telemachus (son of Odysseus) and Mentor, the teacher who helped Telemachus grow into manhood while his father was off fighing the Trojan war.

Mentoring can be intentional (like in a small group or one-on-one conversation) or it can be accomplished in a more informal way that neither the mentor nor the mentee is expecting. In recent years I’ve had a number of people reach out to me with a word of appreciation for having been a mentor to them, even though I hardly remember who they are. Of course, it’s always gratifying and humbling, even if not deserved.

I still spend a good deal of time with younger guys who I consider friends rather than “mentees.” We meet from time to time for conversation over a beer or good cigar. On one occasion, I was asked, “Who’s mentoring you?” and I had to think about that question for a good while because I couldn’t think of any mentors in my life who aren’t dead. I still read their books and draw upon what they taught me or modeled in front of me, but I have few (if any) living mentors who can show me how to live out the rest of my days. I don’t live in an old folks home (yet) where there are older and wiser people who are accessible to me. I am an elder at my church and thankfully, we are doing a good job of attracting lots of young people. I love being around them with all their good looks, enthusiasm and energy. My wife and I have been in several “Life Groups” (small groups) in recent years and we are always the oldest in the room. I’m glad we can still be useful in that way.

The question did make me think about the mentors I have had during my lifetime, however, and made me wish I could reach out to them as a few have reached out to me.  I started making a list of mentors and I realized first of all that I have been very blessed to have rubbed shoulders with some incredible people. They all enriched my life tremendously.

I’ll list ten of them below along with some “thank you” notes.  I have only included those who were (or still are) alive during my lifetime.  I could count as mentors a good many historical figures who inspired me … from the apostle Paul to C.S. Lewis but they don’t really qualify as mentors. Neither have I included my father, John F. Rice, who I loved and lost at a young age. He died in an automobile accident at the age of 48. I would say he was more an example to me than a mentor but I did learn a lot from him about integrity, hard work, faithfulness in marriage and service to Christ. He also gave me a love for country music. I can still hear him walking around the house with his guitar singing songs by Marty Robbins and Jimmie Davis. Thank you, dad.

1. Tony Campolo

Thank you Tony for showing me early on that it’s possible to actually put into practice what you preach. Since we first met in 1976, I observed your life and ministry and even got to travel with you to Haiti where you were establishing orphanages to save children from certain starvation and death. You didn’t just talk about serving the poor, you did it in real time and enlisted others to do the same. And I thank you for demonstrating the power of an effective communicator; how you used your extraordinary intelligence along with God’s Word to change how people think about pretty much everything. Your message on Einstein’s theory of relativity forever changed how I think about time, eternity and Christian hope. I know we didn’t always agree on everything, but to this day, when I’m faced with a decision or theological question, I wonder “What would Tony say about this?” I am thankful that a few months before you passed, I called you on the phone and was able to tell you all this to your face (ears, actually). Thank you my dear friend, you are missed.

2. Dallas Willard

Thank you Dallas for writing so many great books on the spiritual life, all of which I have now read more than once. The Divine Conspiracy remains at the top of my all-time favorite books list and I refer to it often. Aside from a brief handshake when you spoke at Bethel Seminary about 40 years ago, we never had a chance to spend one-on-one time together but I feel like I know you and consider you a friend as well as one of the biggest influences on my life. I was reading one of your books on my back porch one night when I received a very clear message from the Holy Spirit of God that I needed to step it up as a Christ-follower and join Jesus in the easy yoke of discipleship that you describe so well in your books. It was my Damascus Road moment and I have not recovered from it. Even from a distance, you have been one of the most important spiritual mentors in my life and I thank you.

3. Henri Nouwen

Thank you Henri for teaching me that I am not what I do, I am not what I own, and I am not what other people think of me. I am the beloved of God who provides for me all the security and satisfaction in life that I will ever need. That is a lesson that has served me well over the years. You also taught me how to pray, how to be quiet and listen to God as well as talk to Him. You also taught me the meaning of sacrificial love, humility and obedience as I watched you personally caring for and serving the least of these—the marginalized, the mentally and physically handicapped residents of L’Arche Daybreak. And your books—Life of the Beloved, Return of the Prodigal, In the Name of Jesus—they are all treasures to me. Thank you for inviting Marci and me to spend time with you at L’Arche; we will never forget our week in Richmond Hill.

4. Gordon MacDonald

Thank you Gordon for being one of the very first to teach me that my “below the waterline” life needed to be nurtured and given as much (or more) attention than my life “above the waterline”—the life that everyone sees. Your book Ordering Your Private World was an eye-opening introduction to the world of slowing down, becoming a lifelong learner and a practitioner of the spiritual disciplines. Thank you for your encouragement and involvement with our ministry, Youth Specialties, and for spending time with Marci and me whenever we were in your neighborhood. And thank you for modeling for all of us how to find forgiveness and restoration in the aftermath of a personal failure. It was so good to see you and Gail recently at our Legacy Grandparenting Summit. Your words to our attendees were so eloquent and so wise. Thank you.

5. Frederick Buechner

Thank you Fred for continuing to bless my life even though you are now with the Lord. I look forward every day to your “quote of the day” which is sent to me from the Buechner Center at Cambridge and I am constantly referring to your many books: Peculiar Treasures, Wishful Thinking, the Sacred Journey, the Alphabet of Grace just to name a few. My first exposure to your writing was Lion Country, the first of four novels you wrote about the corrupt but endearing Reverend Leo Bebb. I have read The Book of Bebb (containing all four novels) more than once. Thank you for inviting me and my colleagues at Youth Specialties to spend time with you at your home in Vermont where we interviewed you for the Wittenburg Door magazine and you showed us your handwritten (but not yet published) manuscript for your novel Godric. Your generosity of time and hospitality that day remains a highlight of my life.

6. Will D. Campbell

Thank you Will for allowing me into your world which was so different from mine. You grew up in the segregated South, went to Yale Divinity School and came back to the South to work with Dr. Martin Luther King in the growing civil rights movement. You served as a consultant for President John F. Kennedy and continued as a champion for civil rights while at the same time serving as the unofficlal chaplain of the Ku Klux Klan. I remember your words, “Mr. Jesus died for bigots the same way he died for us.” I loved your book Brother to a Dragonfly from which came that famous line, “We’re all bastards but God loves us anyway.” You spoke at our National Youth Workers Convention one year and an entire row of Salvation Army ladies made a quick exit after hearing some of your colorful language describing your ministry to a particular prison inmate. You also loved country music and my band Brush Arbor had the honor of backing you up while you sang some of your original songs. You were known around Nashville as “Preacher Will” and officiated at the weddings of Waylon Jennings and other country music artists. On one occasion, my friend Jim Burns and I visited you at your log office in Mt. Juliet, Tennessee where you served us some genuine mountain moonshine which had been given to you by the hillbillies in your congregation. Jim passed on the moonshine but I gave it a taste—a little bit like turpentine but not too bad. In summary Will, I learned from you so much about the gospel—that it’s not just for the religious, or found under the “steeples,” but that it’s for everybody, even those people we don’t like very much. You taught me a lot and I thank you so much for it.

7. Mike Yaconelli

Thank you Mike for being my best friend and partner in ministry for so many years. When we started Youth Specialties, we had no idea that we would continue to work together for 25 years, traveling around the world doing youth ministry seminars, writing books, publishing a magazine, planning youth workers conventions and all the rest. We had a good run together. We didn’t always see eye to eye, but our differences made us a good team. You were the uber-creative one, the extrovert whose motto was “ready, fire, aim.” I was the opposite, the introvert, whose motto was “wait a minute.” Together we built a solid ministry over the years and I do believe that we made a significant contribution to the church and the practice of youth ministry. I thank you Mike for forcing me to take more risks and to think outside the box. You always said that cynicism and a sense of humor were spiritual gifts not mentioned in the Bible and I came to realize that you were right. Those are spiritual gifts to be coveted and put into practice for the glory of God. I know that I became a more creative and competent person because of your influence on me, Mike, and I am grateful for our friendship. I’m sorry we couldn’t have kept it going a little longer.

8. Don Goehner

Thank you Don for giving me my first youth ministry job back in 1963. I had just graduated from high school and was planning to become an architect after winning the local plan drawing contest. You were the Youth For Christ director there in Ventura County and you apparently saw something in me as president of Camarillo High School’s YFC club. So you called me up one summer day and asked if I would be interested in a part-time job as a YFC club director, working with junior high kids. YFC didn’t even have a junior high program at that time, but you thought I could start one.  I had a summer job working for an architect which I found to be pretty boring, so I said YES! That decision changed my life. I worked with you and Sam McCreery at Ventura YFC for two years. During that time I met my future wife Marci (who was working in the YFC office at that time) and then transferred to San Diego YFC where I completed my education at San Diego State, met Mike Yaconelli and rest is history as they say. I’m so glad that later in life, Don, we met up again and worked together with the Legacy Coalition before you went to be with the Lord. Thank you Don for believing in me and giving me the opportunity to discover what God was calling me to do.

9. Jay Kesler

Thank you Jay for giving me the intellectual and theological grounding for my decision to become a professional youth worker. After Don Goehner gave me my first job, and I was still studying to become an architect, I attended a YFC staff training retreat at Palomar Mountain where you were the speaker. Listening to you talk, I was mesmerized. I knew that this was what God was calling me to do. But I wasn’t sure. I spoke with you privately and you encouraged me to continue praying and doing what I loved to do. If that’s architecture, be the best architect you can be. If it’s youth ministry, be the best you can be. God will show you what to do. I never became an architect as you know, and over the years you have remained one of my role models and heroes. As President of Youth For Christ International, you even wrote a letter on my behalf to the draft board in Ventura asking them to excuse me from service during the Vietnam war, which they did. When my first book Junior High Ministry was published, you were one of the first to call and congratulate me. You were supportive of what Mike and I were doing at Youth Specialties when not too many other YFC folks were. And we’ve been able to stay in touch over all these years. I had the honor to interview you on stage at the Legacy Grandparenting Summit a few years ago and you were still mesmerizing. Thank you Jay for being my friend.

10. Dan McKinnon

Thank you Dan for giving me and my brothers (and our band Brush Arbor) a chance to play our music on the biggest stages, and also for giving me a chance to have my own radio program which I’ve continued for the past 50 years. When we won the talent contest that your radio station (KSON) sponsored, you signed on as our manager and got us a record deal with Capitol Records, a spot on the Grand Ole Opry, hooked us up with Johnny Cash, put us on tour with Merle Haggard, Marty Robbins, Waylon Jennings and a host of other country stars and you were there when we won Country Music’s “Vocal Group of the Year” award. After I quit the band, you offered me a job at KSON playing bluegrass music on Sunday nights. I knew nothing about being a DJ but you said, “of course you can do it!” So I gave it a shot and have enjoyed being the radio voice of bluegrass music in San Diego for the past 50 years.  Thank you Dan for all you did to make my country and bluegrass music dreams come true.

Well, that’s ten–but there are more, people who made a big impression on me during my lifetime. Maybe you have people like that too. I would encourage you to identify the mentors in your life and give thanks for them. Who are the people who influenced you most, helped you advance in your life’s work or at least pointed you in the right direction? If they are still alive, maybe it’s time to send them a thank you note!

One of my oldest friends is Dennis Agajanian who I first met back in the late sixties when he and his brother Danny were performing around the LA area as “The Agajanians.” At the time, my brothers and I had a group called The Rice Kryspies and we would sometimes play the same gigs — coffee houses, churches, youth camps. Later, when we formed the band Brush Arbor, Dennis played lead guitar on several tracks we recorded for Capitol Records and he contributed a couple of songs he wrote or c0-wrote. We did some traveling together and it was always an adventure. Everyone who knows Dennis has some great and very funny Dennis Agajanian stories.

But he’s a very talented, very kind and generous person who loves Jesus and has spent his life sharing the gospel with anyone who will listen. He has done it on the stage of a Billy Graham Crusade and he’s done it at the local honky-tonk where the clientele are shall we say looking for love in all the wrong places.

We’ve remained friends for all these years and now we’re neighbors. He lives just down the street from me and we see each other from time to time. But we haven’t played music together in pretty much forever.  I was recently asked to help out with a Legacy Coalition event and I asked Dennis if he’d be willing to make an appearance. He said he would, and so it looks like we may get to pick together some 50 years later. Dennis was once billed as “the fastest flat-pick guitar player in the world” and he still may be, but I’m slow as molasses so I hope he’ll have mercy and pick a couple songs that I can handle. Regardless, I’m looking forward to it.